The Musings of a Modern Feminist

An amateur poet's take on feminism

I am sorry


As I have just turned 18, I have spent the last couple weeks doing some serious introspection…which isn’t easy…at all. After inspecting my thought processes and actions I haven’t particularly liked what I found. Therefore, this poem is something of an apology, but I would also like to apologise as it is incredibly self indulgent. I didn’t initially necessarily want the blog to be full of that sort of poetry but I have realised that this is somewhat impossible since this is a journey of self discovery (if you would permit the cliché). But I hope that this doesn’t effect only me, that I anot the only young feminist facing this dilemna. If I am, I’m not much of a feminist. If I’m not then I hope this provides some comfort and support to those facing similar problems. Also, sorry because it doesn’t read very well but I hope the sentiment comes across well enough. Well this was quite the preamble today, but anyway way I present ‘I am Sorry’.

If beauty is unimportant
If it is only ‘skin deep’
Then why do I keep
Trying to make it my own?
Why do I want to be seen as pretty
Over witty
Or charming
Or even kind?
This I find
To be a major problem.
‘Feminist’.
That is the word
Many a man has heard
On my lips
In my blog.
But now a fog
Clouds my mind
And makes me wonder,
What am I?
I do not fight
For women’s rights
To be treated like human beings.
Not when I deny
That very same cry
By desiring the things I claim to reject.
I have been silenced.
I have been bound
Indeed I have been found
Guilty of feeding the system.
I want to be sexy
I want men to find me
Attractive for my body before my mind.
I no longer want to sit alone
With my phone
Texting some random friend on a Friday night.
I don’t want the be the ‘3rd wheel’,
Left to feel
Alone, and unloved.
Yes, I have been tried.
And though I have tried
To defend my sisters,
I am not a solution
I merely add to the mental pollution
Of misogyny and sexism.
But nay, I shall not give in.
Yes, I am sorry for I sin
But does not every man?
I have been weak
But do we not all seek
From time to time that forbidden fruit?
So, I will continue to fight
For our right
To be seen as people before women.
And I promise you that I shall never ever be silenced
And neither shall I be bound.

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One response to “I am sorry

  1. The_Night_Angel September 14, 2011 at 5:25 PM

    You’re not the only one. Being a feminist is hard, especially if you’re young.

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